perils of studying
At this point in time, I can't decide if studying or working is the lesser of two evils. My brain is currently almost sucked dry of any possible absorptive juices.
Studying for almost a month has made me quite the impossible person to be with. Irritable, emotional, stressed and without a doubt hungrier and sleepier than usual, seeing how they are the most sought after activities of the day. And yet, I'm not sure if I'm exam-ready. I'm not sure how much I ought to know and whether what I know is sufficient. Sadly, legal matters will be my only companion from now till two weeks later, as I gear myself to be in battle-mode. Thereafter, they will become family.
which reality
This is the longest I've been away from the comp. Not by choice though, because with the upcoming exams, I really cannot afford any such time. It was the thought of accumulating emails that compelled me to spare a few minutes. As I slowly read the emails, and browsed through several other blogs, I saw all the activities I've missed. Then a thought dawned on me - does returning to the comp satisfies "back to reality" or being away from it? I've survived pretty well for the past few days without the need to switch on my computer, and the events I've missed are not life-and-death matters. Yet there was an acute sense of not knowing what events people have organised (for me) or are doing with their lives, but if I seriously think about it, these things are only peripheral, they don't affect me in any major way. The sense of not knowing is no loss indeed. What really matters is your immediate life and the cherished people immediately around you. Perhaps returning to the comp is more befittingly known as "time for the un-essentials".
to do nothing
Over the past few months of hard work I've subjected myself to, I've humbly come to acknowledge that at the core of it, I'm really just flesh. As much as I wish, I'm not a machine made of brutal steel that can go on and on for ages. I need rest, I need breaks. SO, while scheduling for my upcoming exams, I forced myself to take breaks. I put intensive work during the day and no work at night. Surprisingly, it seems that there is still enough time to cover everything (hope I don't say too soon!). But at least when I look at my schedule now, I don't feel so intimidated because there are so many lovely blanks in-between for me to just do nothing. :)
rest
It's been a long week. Sigh. I don't think my brain has stopped to think about anything else besides work. Ok, I'm exaggerating but it's close enough. Barring eating, sleeping, jogging, watching tv, the occasional reading (if I'm lucky) and the rarer moments of just staring into space, I do very little else, really. At the beginning of the week, I felt my brain all raring to go and I pushed it hard, too hard perhaps, such that it quietly slowed down towards the weekend. Maybe when Monday comes round again, it will give my brain the necessary spurt to continue. As of now, work is finished for the day, and I'm going to take a few moments just to enjoy the coolness of the air and the delightful sounds of raindrops falling on my balcony before going to bed. I live for moments like these.
