great badminton with great company
I broke my promise. To study. :(
Straight after church today, james, nicol and myself whizzed down in
three separate cars to the central market in clementi to have lunch. theresa joined us soon after. Nope, we're not double-dating, heh heh; we were all ready to play a game of badminton doubles! I've been looking forward to it all morning. Just the thought of enjoying a competitive sport and working up a sweat at the same time is simply alluring. Haven't done so in ages...
So after having our fill, we headed down to the sports complex and paired up - theresa with nicol, and james with myself. We had a few strokes to warm-up before becoming serious, with points, service-over and all. The arrangement between me and james was that I was to
jaga the front while james was to take care of all the long shots. But soon after the game began, I realised that his presence was all over the court! Whenever I could not take a shot, he's always alert enough to cover me. It's really good to have someone who always watches your back, literally, haha. The other pair's gameplay was not too bad either, with nicol covering the front and theresa behind. nicol likes to try sneaky shots, where the shuttlecock just skims lightly over the net. It works, but only for a while. We soon caught up with his sneaky ways. :P theresa plays a supportive role towards nicol, catching all the long shots which fly pass nicol's head and covering empty spaces.
The first game was pretty exciting. At first, james and I were leading with 7-1. Then, for some strange reason, the other team made a miraculous recovery and shot back up to 8-8. This went on to game point 14-14, which meant we were in deuce, and had to play till 17 points. The last 3 points were in our grasp, and we won it all. :)
Took a rest before resuming with our second game. We switched sides of the courts, still with the same pairing. This time it was our turn to come off to a bad start. At some point we were 0-7, and then 3-11. Hopes of winning were vanishing into the air. Then by a miracle, we started to play better again, and even shot back up to 11-12! Unfortunately at this point, disaster struck. My right calf suddenly had a cramp and I just collapsed to the floor. All of them stopped playing and crowded round. The guys helped to push my foot backwards so as to stretch my calf muscles, which instantly made the pain go away. But I couldn't carry on after that, so the two guys just amused themselves with a whole new game, while theresa sat with me at the bench. Oh well. Wish I could have continued. Wanted to see if we could have won the second game despite having started out so badly. :) This shows that in any match, winning or losing in the beginning does not matter. It's the final outcome that counts. :)
We ended our session with desserts at the market. Had a thoroughly enjoyable time just chit-chatting and laughing. Conversation flows easily with nicol around, who brings up topics that we can often relate to. Soon after, we each left for home. :)
Yep, this was taken courtesy of my cousin when we were returning to our individual cars. From left: james, myself, nicol. Don't our backs just look absolutely stunning. :P
focus, baby
It's that time of the semester when everything comes to an end very very quickly. Lecturers and tutors are busy tidying up the last bits of the syllabus, giving us a mental preparation of what to expect of the exams, and if they're kind enough, may also tell us what topics to emphasise on, though so far none of the tutors have done so...
I always feel that tertiary students have it the worst during this semester. This is especially so when your company of friends include secondary and JC kids (
just to show how old I really am, no offense) who have completed their final year exams and are happily preparing for the festive season. Gosh to plan christmas parties, buy christmas presents, write christmas cards, go on year-end holidays... It really is a struggle to focus on work at a time when everyone's in such a festive mood. Orchard Road lights up beautifully with elaborate decorations year after year. Albeit becoming such a commercialised holiday, it never stops me from soaking in the bustling and happy spirit that is being spread all around.
Just worked out my study schedule for the exams. Officially from 29 Oct till 30 Nov, I will have begun to transform from a social butterfly to a nice quiet hermit, sitting at my desk everyday. The only times I will probably move my butt from this seat is 1. during meal times, 2. need to use the bathroom, 3. need to sleep, 4. church, 5. the occasional run.
Lord, grant me strength in the midst of this difficult period...
"jokes are exaggerated truths"
Most people who would have read today's Life! quote sections would know that this quote was said by none other than Rowen Atkinson. It hit me deeply at how very true this statement is. People will often find things funny only if there is an element of truth in it. Be it a habit, an idiosyncrasy or even just a physical attribute. See how many jokes have been bantered by the English of the French, or by Malaysians of Singaporeans (
this is just an observation, no assertion intended; sorry ah, must protect myself just in case). It is always an exaggeration of the truth, usually by a public demonstration, that gives it the tickling effect.
As a rule of thumb, I never make jokes about anybody of a characteristic which I know to be even remotely true. One, it is against my principles to make fun of somebody if his/her peculiarity cannot be helped. Two, if the person is around, imagine how he/she will feel. It takes a lot to refrain, especially if brilliant lines are already churning in my head. The only exceptions I abide by is 1) if it is a
group of persons with the same characteristic and 2) if I know the person(s) is/are comfortable with it.
Then there are some jokes which are just plain bad, designed not even to make fun of you, but to simply demean you. Those seriously suck and people who make them ought to just kick themselves in the ass until they cannot go to toilet for a week.
vege fantasy
With all this talk about vegetables, let me just add to it my little own fantasy... :P
I love vegetables so much that everytime my family sits down to eat, the first dish I'll head towards is the veges. Gosh, they are so extremely delicious! The fact that they are healthy is just an added bonus; it just means I can get to eat a lot of them without feeling guilty. Oh the taste of fried veges with garlic, the crunch as you put them in your mouth, the sound of chomp chomp chomp just finishes it off with a magic touch!
Usually at home, it's only courteous to apportion the food on the table so that everyone gets to have a decent size of each of the dishes, which is why I always feel I don't get to eat a satisfying amount of veges. My greatest fantasy is to eat the entire plate of veges and nothing else for a meal! Yes, to consume the amount of veges meant for 4 persons. I'll just bring the entire plate to the tv and munch it like a snack. I've been dreaming about it for a long time, heh heh, but just haven't got down to realising it. Among my favourite types - cabbage, chinese cabbage, xiao bai cai, kailan, kangkong, spinach, tapioca leaves, sweet potato leaves... In fact, almost anything leafy I'll eat. My family can definitely attest to it. Yum yum yum. :)
turn the table
I'm usually the type of person who overlooks minor flaws in people very easily. Which is why when someone brings up a complaint they have of another person, it usually takes me a while to register that, "oh, this person is actually being mean in this particular situation." or "oh, this person has certain xxx issues." Perhaps it's part of growing up that allows me to let such things slide off my back, even if other people do empathise the brunt for me. Am I mature to have let these things pass, or weak to have noticed and yet refrain from doing anything about it? But if it does not affect me in the long run, how weak can I be?
Nobody's perfect. What is once thought good could be rotten, and what is once thought bad could turn out to be favourable. It just depends on the angle you're looking from. Makes life so much more interesting in our 3-D world, doesn't it? But it is also more challenging to live up to the standards that Jesus preaches.
ungirly
Ever wondered what traits commonly associated with the opposite sex resides in you?
Things that make me most ungirly:
1. My love for sports.
2. My love for cars and driving.
3. My strong sense of logic.
4. My ability to separate emotion from knowledge.
5. My goal-oriented mindset.
Just some thoughts.
clear cut line
Did you know? That so highly regarded is the legal professional privilege between a lawyer and an accused that even when the accused admits to having murdered the victim in question, the lawyer is not allowed to disclose this information to the court without his consent? However, the lawyer cannot then, having known this fact, explicitly say that the accused did not do it. Rather, he should bring up possible defences such as insanity.
Makes me think twice about going into this profession. There is so much conflict between ethics and professionalism, not to mention my personal beliefs and how this is going to further complicate matters. I always believed that right and wrong is pretty clear cut, and there should be no grey areas about it. Sometimes I knowingly do wrong things because I want to, but that doesn't change the fact that I believe there is still a clear line. Perhaps the lack of exposure in real working world has sustain me in my naivety. I've held this belief for as long as I can remember, and people in the past used to say that when I grow older, such a belief will bound to fade away. I'm already older, but the belief is still stuck with me. I can only hope that even when I start working, my mind will always be clear about what I'm doing, and not let the line between right and wrong diminish.
highlights of the weekend
It's been a jam-packed weekend since Friday's small group. I don't even have time to get near the computer, let alone do any work. Reflecting back, however, it was a very good move to be away from my studies, and for once, I'm actually happy. Happy because I'm not alone, up on the third floor, staring at my laptop with hundreds of papers all over my desk; instead I'm out with friends, family, spending time with people and feeling the interaction of human warmth once more.
Interesting highlights:
Had a SMP (Student Mentorship Programme) meeting with the organisers on Saturday morning. We met at the Symphony Stage in Botanic Gardens and had a wild time playing games with the other schools' mentors. I think Twister and Ultimate frisbee really helped bond us. What with sticky bodies in close contact and running around to catch flying disc, it was simply hilarious. There was this particular game where we were interlinked with another partner through "rafia handcuffs", and were supposed to try and untangle ourselves. But even after the organisers gave us the answers, my partner D and myself were still stuck. No matter how closely we followed the instructions, we just became more entangled, to a certain point he even said, "That's it, I'm going to bring you home to see my parents!" I always knew him to be witty, but that was one of his best lines yet. Thankfully, we finally figured it out. :)
As I was giving some of my friends a lift after the event was over, one of my male friends commented that I drive like an "ah-lian" and said he's never seen a "zha bor drive like that before". Hm... I wonder if that is a compliment or cause for worry.
At night, I went to attend a friend's birthday party at East Coast Costa Sands Resort. I didn't drive there (had a lift from my father), so for the first time since forever, I actually took
public transport back home. Heh, experiencing this with me were my two JC friends, who made constant jibing remarks about whether I could still navigate myself through the mrt system. I did deliberately stop to take in the experience of standing in a crowded mrt cabin and sitting in the sbs bus. I wanted to remember the moment because I know it will be a long while before I do so again. Man, do I sound pampered.
This morning, an intense discussion (more like debate actually) took place between the YA members based on Pastor Gordon's sermon. One camp believed that God has already chosen who He is going to save while the other took Pastor Gordon's view that it was up to us to accept God's invitation. Shall not open a can of worms here, but would just like to comment on the overall experience. So intense was our discussion that we stood at the concourse for over an hour before letting the matter rest. What I felt was good was that there was real live debate going on and serious exchange of issues and ideas, challenging us to think more deeply about what we truly believed in instead of just being confined to comfortable and familiar grounds. It is only through being exposed to different interpretations that we are able to articulate our beliefs more clearly. This is probably my virgin experience with such things because most of my christian friends generally hold the same views as I do, so room for further discussion is often blocked. Thus I did appreciate the experience greatly.
spot the difference
I'm a child of God. Must constantly remind myself of that fact.
If you've never had hard wired springs stuck to your back muscles (the ones which control the arm movement), experience it through me. When I woke up this morning, every action my arm does is a pulling of the springs. It's almost as though the springs just desperately want to snap back to its original position and not let me do anything with my arms. The tiniest movement I make requires a great deal of strength, of which I am already seriously lacking. Even turning the steering wheel demands both hands, when I usually use only one. Imagine my day.
I have two very close friends, one christian and the other, a non-believer. I usually hesitate in sharing my difficulties with the latter because she would naturally assume that all problems I have ought to be solved through God instantaneously, and I didn't want to be that stumbling block. But tonight, I needed a listening ear, and after running through the list of the usual people, somehow my mind just decided to settle on her simply because she's in a position to understand what I'm going through. She was probably surprised to hear me this upset since a long time, because she seemed unsure of what to say, unlike her usual bubbly, quick-witted self. But deep down I know she understands and I know she cares, something which I'm truly grateful for. Even though she may be a non-believer, but given the fact that we've been together for so long, gone through so many experiences together, and in fact have very much the same basic personality and nature, there was no problem of her understanding me at all. Which brings me to my question, what's the difference then between telling a christian friend and non-christian friend your difficulties? Or is there?
I'm a child of God.
first smile of the day
twilight
O night!
Are you all that you made out to be –
Quiet, tranquil, peace?
Have you not a hidden agenda,
Just to see me break asunder?
Mask not your face with futile grace,
Uncovered your scheme in the moonlit gleam.
Heart of steel, protect me now!
May I never to my enemies bow.
wakeboarding
Journey to the east. :)
Woke up bright and early at 6.45am this morning, picked my cousin and darryl up at 8am and headed down to punggol marina for our long-awaited wakeboarding session. They had gone with the YA people before 2 saturdays ago, and having missed out on such a great time, I decided that this opportunity could not slip through my hands again.
It was an experience I was not prepared for. Although I hear "horror" stories of not being able to get up and feeling absolutely tired thereafter, it never really hits you like reality does. As I was the only beginner, vincent, the instructor, gave me step-by-step tips on exactly what to do when the boat goes off - a basic simulation. On my first attempt, I got up pretty smoothly. Strangely though, the overwhelming thrill I expected from being able to glide on water didn't engulf me. :( Perhaps my expectations were raised. Nevertheless it was quite a challenge to stay afloat. You really need to observe others and adjust your posture accordingly so that you can remain in an upright position.
In my second set, I managed better. There was a point where I could glide for at least a minute or more. But towards the end, even though I did not feel my posture giving way, my arms just couldn't tackle the handle anymore. I literally had to muster every last bit of my strength just to hang on before surrendering. Subsequently on other tries, the handle just kept eluding my fingers. That happened almost 5 consecutive times, and I felt so bad for the instructor and the rest who kept encouraging me. Sigh. Probably pretty disappointed in myself too, knowing that the body is able but muscle is weak. :P
At the end of it all, when I climbed on board, the instructor told me to shake his hand. At first I thought it was merely a friendly good-bye gesture. Then he told me to squeeze it. With all my strength, I squeezed his hand. And he said incredulously, "That's it?" That's when I realised he wanted to test how much strength I had left, which probably resulted in my last 5 failed attempts. I tried the handshake with my cousin and darryl too, and both agreed my squeeze was so soft, almost like a baby's pinch (or at least what I would imagined them to think).
Other than my arms and back muscles, the rest of my body is perfectly fine, unlike the other two who complain of aching legs. Either I didn't get sufficient standing time, or, in the words of my instructor, I have powerful legs. Blessing in disguise.
for laughs
Finally started to eat normally. Normally in the sense of being able to consume oily, fried, chilli, coconut and dairy products. However, due to the effects of the medication (I think), instead of diarrhoea, now I have slight constipation. :( So to make up for it, I try inducing loads of... erm... gas. It seriously helps to get rid of the unwanted "wind" so as to aid digestion. No joke!
Although my exams are a month away, the syllabus is fast drawing to a close, and the end looms dangerously near. Loads of work still left undone and unrevised, everywhere is just a mess. I've still one assignment due, which I have to get at least half done by this week by hook or by crook. Otherwise it's just like an irritating cobweb dangling around my head, threatening to eat into my precious time of revision. Every ending of a semester is nothing short of a miracle.
Here's to an official dare to uncle pong - wear a skirt on sunday and you'll get pink tulips from me! Heh heh heh... anyone like to chip in to this crazy stunt? Indulge me in the midst of my insanity... :P
by an inch
I just watched America's Next Top Model. One of my all-time favourite reality shows ever. The girls, the photoshoots, the exotic makeup and costumes, and best of all, the catfights they often get up to. Heh. Plus, it can be an excellent conversational topic with anyone who is a fan of it. Usually we will have our favourites. And I realised that you can actually tell a lot about that person just by the choices he/she pick as their favourites. I've a friend who picked the sweet kahlen as his choice, while I'm rooting for attitude-filled naima. Sigh.
seen the doctor
Continuation of my day's story. :)
I literally slept the whole afternoon, only waking up intermittently to have a sip of a good hot dose of honey lime which my father made for me. It really helped to reduce the feeling of nausea. By the time I woke up, it was 7+pm, and I felt the urge to go to the toilet again. This time, I managed to let go, but like this morning, it was totally watery. As I told my sister later, I never felt so much water coming out from my ass before (sorry, mind the language).
Under the advice of many of my friends (and a close relative ;p), I decided to go to the doctor, even though I felt better. As it turned out, it was a case of food poisoning. He asked me what I ate yesterday, and I told him nothing raw. Then he asked about the day before. And I recall eating satay and
orh-jian (carrot cake with
see-hum) with the YA people after our small group at the bukit timah market. But strangely though, I seem to be the only person affected. Oh well, just unlucky I guess. He gave me medication to suppress my nausea, cure my diarrhoea and get rid of the "wind" in my tummy. Hopefully I can recover quickly so that I can get on with my work.
A piece of bread with jam was my only source of energy the entire day.
want to be well
I can't remember the last time I puked.
When I woke up this morning, my stomach emitted the gurgling noises cognisant with that of diarrhoea and my throat felt funny. It took a long while before I managed to have a go at the toilet bowl, but everything that came out was watery. I could only manage to drink soya bean milk which my mom bought.
After returning from church, the sensation worsened. I told my dad that I'm not eating lunch and tried to sleep. But my throat felt worse and worse, and finally when I felt something lodged up there, I immediately went to the toilet bowl and vomited. That's when all my dinner came out. It was terrible and I teared badly too.
I soon felt better and decided to just drink some water. Then I tried to sleep again. But I know the sensation in my throat was returning. So I rushed to the toilet again and threw up once more. This time it was just pure liquid, nothing solid came out. Which made me wonder whether what I threw up was the water that I just drank. Once again, badly tearing, clutching my stomach, and silently cursing my body. Sigh.
I'm afraid to eat or drink anything now for fear of puking, but I can't go on like this forever. Worse, I'm still having constipated diarrhoea, but everything I try to use a little bit of energy, I feel the puke rising in my mouth. Argh. I need help...
tired beyond measure
Once again, my limbs are not listening to me. Even though I slept pretty early last night, there's a general cloud of fatigue just overshadowing me. I literally feel the energy being zapped from my bicep-areas.
Ever slept so deeply that whatever you dream becomes so real to you? In the midst of my afternoon nap earlier, I suddenly heard a distinctive soft voice calling out my name, "serena, serena...", and a hand tried to shake me gently to wake me up. I couldn't open my eyes because I was so sleepy, but the voice sounded familiar. "Is that you,
yh?" I mumbled. The voice replied, "no." I took a peek at who that person could be and said, "Oh it's you
v...". Then I went back to sleep again. But I could feel him taking my arm, and trying to rearrange my sleeping position so that I could be more comfortable.
Just then I heard my handphone beeped. This time I took the effort to open my eyes to answer my phone. And I opened them very slowly, partly because I was really afraid
v would be there, by my side and peering down my face. Thankfully he wasn't. It was yet another one of those highly-imaginative moments of my mind, conjuring up reality like Copperfield. Strangely though, my handphone beeping was real. But the quality and strength of the voice I heard earlier was almost exactly like the beeping, so much so that I couldn't distinguish which was real and which wasn't. It was only through my trusty brain telling me that the former could not possibly be true unlike the latter that I could come to a logical conclusion.
Freaky isn't it. This is what being too tired does to you.
travelling through the mind
I'm beginning to enjoy my Trade Dispute module very much. :)
For the uninitiated, this module covers trade dispute mechanisms and in particular, how disputes are being resolved in the WTO. There is also the discussion of the Bilateral Investment Treaties (BITs), Regional Trade Agreements (RTAs) and Free Trade Agreements (FTAs) and how all these relationships between the different countries intertwine and relate with one another.
Today, for some strange reason, as I was listening to my tutor speak, I suddenly felt myself being transported to a different realm. My senses were starting to experience the different cultures of the world, being made aware of the individual needs that each country has, and how the countries (especially the developing ones) are struggling to make their voices heard. I'm seeing the world from a different light, seeing the countries not just as a nation which is sovereign and free, but as mere individuals like you and me striving to make the best decisions for the welfare of their citizens. The sensation was amazing. I felt like I was travelling around the world, visiting different countries, listening to each of their stories and their history, learning about their way of life which affect the decisions they make. For a brief moment, I forgot I was only in a classroom.
split your sides
My highlight for weekdays, 4.30pm on Channel 18 (cable).
If anytime you get stressed, watching Whose Line Is It Anyway will cure all blues away. It is so supremely funny that you can't help but laugh and laugh till your tears come out. Today's episode had the guest star Richard Simmons. For those too young to know (actually this includes me), Simmons is this guy who is hyperly-enthusiastic about life and makes aerobics/weight-loss videos for mainly American people too lazy to get out of the house to do exercise. And I guess it's his absolute zest for life that creates a strange attraction to him.
Decided to surf for more information about him and found a video of this particular episode of Whose Line. Please watch it. You just laugh till your sides ache. :P
http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=6647
some men...
Men who don't understand women don't deserve to be around women at all!
I was chatting with a fellow mentor on msn. He asked what I did with my mentee today, so I told him that I brought her out to lunch at JP and shopped a little after that. I mentioned that I went a little crazy today with shopping because having been cooped up at home for so long, it's a rare chance that I get to go out and feast my eyes on pretty trinkets. And he had the audacity to ask, "So what did you waste your $$ on?" I was so mad. I mean, here I was, enjoying the thoughts of my buys and basking in the carthartic feel of shopping, and him calling them 'waste' was just the limit! Such men ought to be shot. Such men don't deserve to talk to women.
(There is another side to this story, but because I'm in the process of "
feel more, think less", I shall not consider his side... for now. :P)
dreads of staying home
Experiencing the symptoms of not having company...
My time-table is the envy of most people. With only 3 days of school per week and attending only 1-2 hours of lessons on 2 of the days, people are clamouring to be in my position. And at first, I did feel very lucky. What with schooling people dying for holidays and working people desperately wishing for more leave, I'm having the best of both worlds - schooling and "holidaying" contemporaneously (I must try to use the words that I learn more often).
But having experienced this kind of lifestyle for almost 9 weeks now, I realised it is not as glamourous as it is made out to be. Perhaps the biggest drawback is the lack of being around people. It's not like I'm hanging out in Orchard, watching movies or sipping coffee with friends on my free days. I'm still holed up at home, mugging every waking hour just to prepare for the next tutorial (yes, mountains of notes just for one stupid tutorial). And as I study alone more and more often, I can feel the increasing impact it has on me. On one hand, while I still need the company of people (catch up with old friends, or meet new people), yet on the other, I don't feel like going out anymore (because of the great inertia of just staying put at home). This giant paradox is killing me. Presently, stepping out of the house and just MEETING people is like stepping into civilisation...
Hopefully all these will pass soon enough when the semester is over.
censor vs natural
Down with cramps, muscle pull on my left thigh and a seriously bad sore throat... At least the first one had gone away.
I have no idea why people always say having a sore throat gives you a sexy voice, because I'm so not feeling sexy. I can't speak properly, I can't sleep properly, and there's a constant pain whenever I swallow. My voice comes out in a mere whisper, and if I try to raise it, the throat hurts. Argh. But it is a good excuse not to talk to people, especially when I don't feel like it. :) Like if my parents were to ask how's my day, I could just give monosyllabic answers and get away with it. :P Heh heh.
A thought appeared in my mind yesterday. How do I reconcile the fact of being myself without offending people? Let's say if I am by nature candid, so things that I say might not have been thoroughly processed before it comes out, or things that I do might just be totally natural, and in the process, might make people feel uncomfortable. Do I just remain silent in future, or censor my words? Do I have to do constant checks on my actions to ensure they are in tandem with the crowd? Is this portrayal any less of myself? Am I shortchanging others, or worse, shortchanging myself?
Conforming to the social circumstances one is put in would be the easiest solution, but not the best. I'm still at odds with this issue.
unfulfilled desires
A peek into a person's life lets me reflect on my own for a while...
There are a lot of things I regret doing, just as much as there are a lot of things I regret
not doing. In particular, I regret not being a little naughtier, a little wilder, a little more rebellious, a little more of a drinker... I resent the fact that I'm too straight-laced, too rule-based, too much of a rational rather than an emotionally-charged person...
How do I grow up when I had not even the chance to be young?Empathising with the elder brother in the story of the prodigal son...
calmness within
"oh happy day..."
I just had a presentation this morning, and surprisingly, it went better than I had expected. For those who know me well, I have an established
unconscious fear of speaking in public. I say
unconscious because I never feel afraid until I stand up and face the crowd for the first time. Then for some strange reason, my heart pumps faster and faster, my hands grow extremely cold and my whole body just becomes immobilised. And because it had happened a few times before, I am now very aware of what my senses are doing - trying to lull me into a sense of false security before whamming me with the sight of an unexpectedly-attentive audience. At least becoming aware of my strange mechanisms has allowed me to psyche myself up for what is to be expected.
Today's presentation required me to comment on Art 20.6.5 of the US-Singapore Free Trade Agreement. I didn't do much research, and mainly used a lot of my common sense (though some may argue the existence of it), so I was afraid that I may not be able to answer some of the questions my tutor would throw at me. My friend who went before me was a bundle of nerves! One could literally hear it in her voice because she was stammering so hard! Kinda felt bad for her. And it also caused worry in me that I may sound like that too.
When my turn arrived, I gathered my notes and went in front of the class. It helped that I stood behind a table where I could rest my hands and notes (kinda like a pulpit), thereby calming myself down. The minute I opened my mouth, I realised that I was not afraid anymore. The nervousness somehow disappeared. And I just spoke as though I was telling them exactly what I felt about the provision. And because most of them were my own thoughts, it was genuine, resulting in me not even having to look at my speech at times. So yeah, it went well. My tutor gave me good comments, saying that I could speak pretty well, except that she would have liked me to project my voice a little more and speak slower (a common gripe, I suppose).
Praying beforehand did a great deal of good for me. :)
creative cakes
Just doing a little advertising for my aunt... Heh heh, and also want to see how well the photos I took will turn out. This is a miniature house made entirely out of cake (some of it are biscuits, chocolate, sweets... you get the idea). Everything is edible except the leaves and the car. Yum yum. :)
Another one of my aunt's creation. Yep, the long-flowy dress is pure cake and cream! It looks too pretty to be eaten!
By the way, all these were taken from my camera phone! Good eh.
conscience pricked
If there is a competition coming up, but the competitors decide to share their resources, would it be wrong for one person to withhold some? What if the other competitors are doing the same thing, even though outwardly they say they will share their resources? Would it matter if they use the resource to their own advantage and claim the credit for themselves?
My first brush with moral dilemma.
virus, shoo!
It finally dawned on me this morning why my body is so stubborn. It's not just the lack of sleep. It's breaking down... :(
My body has just received a group of unwelcomed viruses who seem bent on causing my body to malfunction. Although I remain largely in control of my faculties, my throat is starting to feel funny, temperature of my forehead rises, strange aches start to appear in various parts of my body... This is actually something pretty new. No not the fever. I've been susceptible to fever since dunno when. Everytime it comes, I'm usually caught unawares, and have to literally stay at home and slowly nurse myself back to health. But for those few days, it will be pure torture. Presently, however, I'm feeling fine. Fine in a way that I know I'm starting to feel sick, yet I don't feel the normal symptoms associated with it, like total limpness. Go, Serena's immune system! (or maybe it's just the start, choy!)
25% presentation this friday. I seriously can't afford to be ill.
limp limbs
Every ounce of energy is drained from me...
For some strange reason, even though I slept slightly earlier last night and woke up at the usual time this morning, my body decides that today, it wants to go on strike. Nothing I do seems to perk its interest. Limbs weak, mind numb, the allure of just staring into space and daydreaming is simply calling out to me... Yet there is just so much to be done. Presentation this friday, notes to compile, cases upon cases to read... For a change, I actually felt my mind raring to complete all these stuff, but my body just turns off. And I can't operate my mind without my body obeying! A classic example of how the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.
world in shambles
What is becoming of this world...
I have been out of touch with news, because of my hectic schedule. So today, when I chanced upon the Bali bombings on the newspaper, I thought it was the 2002 case, and the authorities had re-discovered new leads or something. Only just now did I realised that it was a second bombing. And my heart sank.
The news covered an extensive report about the number of deaths and injured, the amateur videos, interviews from survivors, life in Bali after Saturday... It's just so saddening. Sigh. There are people who are suffering from the loss of loved ones, there are indonesians who have to continue to work despite the bombings because that's their only way of survival, there are those who narrowly escape death...
It's unnerving to know that we live in such an unpredictable world. The world has not seen these many deaths before (or maybe I just haven't lived long enough to experience such events). Already there were the two bombings in UK, the dengue fever (albeit smaller in scale but had still cost some lives), the hurrican katrina and rita, typhoon longwang, and now this. Be they man-made or natural disasters, precious lives are just taken away without any warning or preparation. And yes, it does seem like the end times are coming soon, though we will never know for sure.
Life is indeed short. How many of such events must take place before we start realising this important fact? We moan and groan about the workload that's weighing down on us, perhaps never stopping to think that there could be people grappling with even greater issues. It's time to start appreciating the security we have in Singapre, but at the same time, not let our guard down. Above all, thank the Lord for his providence and ask for His healing hand to be on those who are in pain.
basic instincts
For some strange reason, my heart is pounding extremely fast right now. It's as if it's trying to tell me something, like something's wrong. Call it girl instinct, but when something's not right, you feel it to the core of your bones. I always try to suppress it by thinking that maybe I'm just too hasty in judging people, but when another person actually comes up and tells you the exact same thing, you realised suddenly that you're not alone. That your instincts may be right after all. The question now is whether I should act on them or just leave it. I really need to learn to trust my instincts more, especially when it boils down to discernment.
"
Lord, grant me wisdom that I may see clearly..."
