relax and unwind
It's always hard to marry theory and application.Woohoo! Zara sale was on yesterday, and my crazy shopper sc friend called me in the morning to tell me about it. And since both of us were bored at home, we made a whirlwind plan to meet and shop in the afternoon. :) For some strange reason, shopping
with girlfriends (emphasis added) never fail to perk my spirits up. There's just so many interesting things to see, touch, wear, experiment... Despite all my loves for all things guyish - driving, cars, sports, logic, shopping is just something girly that I willingly succumb to. :P Of course, companions are equally important when it comes to perfecting the shopping experience.
After three hours of walking around, we finally decided to take a break from spending money, and turn to spending quality time with each other instead. :) I know Bakerzin has been around for such a long time, and yet neither of my girlfriends have ever been there, so we decided to take our maiden trip there to see what the fuss is about. And gosh, it's truly worth the buzz. The profiterole which we ordered was simply exquisite! With deliciously-cold vanilla ice-cream eaten together with warm melted chocolate at its base topped with almond flakes, the taste becomes pure heaven...
Me and my decadent dessert. :)
solitude
A day of quiet reflections, away from the flurry of activities. Too many thoughts, too much emotions.
Something within me has changed drastically. I've come to realised that the exterior is no longer important. The compliments paid to me mean absolutely nothing. And that is a big leap from who I used to be - self-conscious and inferior. In the past, I would have probably lapped them up eagerly and bask in those superficial thoughts for a few days, knowing that such words do not easily pass my way. But yesterday, an internal revolution has taken place. Even with three persons shooting pleasantries at me did not lift my spirits to a significant level. There is so much more to be desired than pretentious words which add little value to the wholesome life I'm seeking. The depth of my heart is immeasurable; give me more than shallow utterances.
"When the love is gone, the feeling remains"- Perhaps Love
Think about it carefully.
lord, i need you
Last night was a night of revelations. I knew it was an inevitable occurence, and had long prepared myself for whatever was to come. Yet I've realised that no matter how much I tell myself that I am ready, when it hits, its effect is unstoppable. It was as though a knife had pierced straight into my heart and the bleeding that ensues is an excruciating continuous pain. On the surface, I was a picture of calm and composure, but only God knows the immensity of the pain and suffering that churns deeps within me. And I can't stop it...Lord, forgive the sins of humanity, including me.
relvery
I went to the Ministry of Sound last night. It was an illuminating experience.
I received a message from nicol yesterday afternoon, asking if I wanted to go to MoS at night. Apparently you can get free entry as long as you flash your sms invite at the door. And since I haven't gone to any party for the entire year, I jumped at the opportunity. Plus he was willing to pick me up and bring me back home, so that's a great incentive too. :) Three of his friends joined us as well, one of which a minister's son. Heh.
Perhaps an internal change has taken place within me. What seemed like exotic fun in the beginning didn't quite turn out the sensational experience that I had expected. And this is particularly strange since this is not the first time I've been to a club. I have mainly 2 thoughts:
1. As I stood on the second level, looking down and watching the people dance crazily amidst bright flashing white lights which flickered so quickly that every action seemed to slow down, one word appeared in my mind -
debauchery. I said to myself, this is a place of pure debauchery. And at that moment, I wondered what in the world I was doing there.
2. Whenever a piece of good music comes on, with thumping rhythms and familiar lyrics, people start jumping and waving their hands in their air, singing the words of the songs with such enthusiasm and gusto. And at that moment, scenes of our worship flashed through my mind. This feels all too familiar, I thought.
I left the place with a heavy heart, and sober reflections of whether what I was doing was truly in tandem with God's ways. I believe, strictly speaking, that partying is not a wrong per se, but the kind of environment it is set in coupled with the questionable crowd teeters on the fine line between right and wrong. Perhaps it's not always doing the right or neutral thing that is important; it is keeping away from the things that could possibly push you over to the edge of the dark side that is more significant.
A change of heart rather than a change of perception is the more powerful player in my tussle.
joy, warmth, love, fellowship
It's been truly a fantastic holiday. I'm loving every minute of it. :)
First part of the week was the OC camp, and despite some of the unhappiness that raged within, I truly felt that it has already accomplished what it set out to do - to bond the OC members a little tighter. :) For me, it has been a blast knowing everyone. My main goal in attending the OC camp and staying with the campers was so that I could get to know each and everyone of them that much better, and not feel like a stranger whenever I enter the OC room. What resulted has exceeded beyond my wildest expectations. Not only do I now know almost everyone of them, the fact that I could go deeper with some was even more surprising. People like mel, cheryl, hans, darryl, cherns, kimpong, mingying and pew. I had so much fun with them, just laughing over the silliest things and making weird and random jokes. :) And now the younger folks recognise me too and come up to me and say hi. :) Such warmth is indescribable.
The christmas party on friday with my small group was a success! Good food, better company, and whole lots of laughter again and again and again. I can't count the number of times I laughed till my sides ached, laughed till my stomach ached, laughed until I literally rolled on the floor clutching my tummy. I love this bunch of guys! They're so fun! The party started out on a slightly awkward atmosphere, but with food and wine, gradually everything livened up. The oc carollers sang in their noisiest of voices (agreed unanimously by all) followed by some entertainment provided by ian with his impressive card tricks. Present exchange was also pretty exciting, where we made up a game to "steal" presents from each other. Hilarious. :) Late into the night, the YA played a couple of games, which induced further laughter. I simply am unable to fathom how far we have come since the beginning of this group, which was only a mere 6 months away, and how we have arrived at this very comfortable stage that we're in, with all the friendly teasing and jibing shared among us. It's amazing, and I love it. :) We ended around 1am, and everyone helped with the clearing up.
Immersing myself in the love and fellowship that is generously spread around this christmas season. The warmth in my heart burns longingly.
sleep, camp, party
It's been 2 days since the camp ended, and I'm still repaying the sleep monster my overdue debts. :(
Every camp that I go to inevitably brings home unique memories to me. And this is no different. :)
Water bombs:
Gosh, that is by far the most memorable time ever! Can you imagine 5 people (pew, cherns, cheryl, mel and me - mingying and pat didn't participate, though pat got wet all the same) supposedly doing their work by making water bombs, suddenly just turn around and splish-splash one another in the sneakiest ways ever?! :) It was hilarious, and a much-needed relief from the stress we were experiencing. I can still remember all the times that I got hit, and all the times when I successfully hit people. The scenes frequently replay in my mind and a secret smile never fails to escape from the corners of my mouth.
Jenga:
The last night with the seven of us - hans, pong, cherns, mingying, cheryl, mel and myself. I enjoyed myself to bits, laughing at some of the antics that pong was making to scare mel into dropping the wooden block, and some of the things that pong said were simply out of this world. "Are you feeling lucky tonight?" Hahaha, I nearly died when I saw cherns face. pong is really witty, heh. He can make seemingly innocuous-sounding statements mean an entirely different thing. :) I like that. Overall, the company was fantastic, the laughter was infectious, and the warmth shared is something words can never accurately describe.
Tonight's the night of the christmas party, the culmination of the entire month of december. Just praying that things will go fine and everyone will have a lovely time. :)
today and tomorrow - both good
It'll be a miracle if I ever manage to write and send my christmas cards on time. :(
Today, which I had initially set aside purely to write christmas cards, ended up as yet another shopping spree with my good friend, el. As I was relaxing in front of the computer in the afternoon, she suddenly called me at 1.45pm, asking me if I was free to accompany her to go shopping. She needed a pair of jeans and saturday was her only free day. As I found out later, she has a big date tonight (heh heh), so she was pretty desperate to find a presentable pair. :P And knowing me, I simply couldn't pass up an opportunity to go shopping (although this would be my third time this week), so we met at 2.45pm and headed towards IMM. I'm probably her best shopping companion because we pretty much have the same tastes and the same style of shopping. We also went to Jurong Point later.
In all, it was a fruitful shopping experience. :) She got her jeans; I got myself a new pair of jeans too and a super super nice blouse. Woo hoo! When I came out of the changing room to show el the blouse, she looked at me and went, "wow". That's when I knew I had to buy it. Haha, such indulgence is decadent but nonetheless carthartic. :)
The OC camp is tomorrow, and for some strange reason, I'm actually looking forward to it, considering the fact that I'm usually a lazy bum who prefers to bask in the comforts of my home rather than rough it out (in recent years, sigh. age is catching up). But I've looked at the program, and I know it's going to be good. :) And plus, I won't actually be participating in the camp activities (I think), so energy won't be that big a factor. As of now, zero packing done. Will get to it later. :P
leading is tiring
It's been a long week... But it's finally going to end soon. :)Last night's attendance at bible study was unexpectedly low. ben was away at malaysia, james was away at cameron highlands, siwei and alvin had a tiring week and decided to take a break, darryl had some camp stuff, and dunno why jean and adrian didn't appear. Sigh, oh well. But the few faithful that did turn up were patrick, desmond and ian. So together with nicol and myself, that makes 5 of us. We were initially contemplating whether we should continue with the bible study since Mark 14 is a very important chapter and it wouldn't be nice for the rest to miss out discussing it. But we decided to just go ahead. Plus, I personally felt it wouldn't be fair to those who made the effort to come down and not have bible study. So ahead we went with it.
It turned out to be quite fruitful, although hearing my voice dominate most of the bible study wasn't a pleasant experience. I guess I prefer facilitating bible study and encouraging people to share their ideas to leading. When the session was finally over, I left the room with a throbbing headache, and an acute draining of all my mental energy. No wonder james said that leading bible study was tiring; I couldn't properly appreciate what he went through until last night. But, sigh, nicol and I are going to do it again the week after our christmas party for the benefit of those who missed out on the discussion, and also because we didn't manage to cover everything. Hopefully with more enthusiastic people the week after, it wouldn't be so hard. It so happens that last night, the people who turned up were among the quieter ones, so to generate some development of ideas was particularly difficult. But good nonetheless.
lighthearted
It's been such a lovely, eventful day!
Morning:I've finally discovered how being a christian can give one additional perks even in the business world. :) This man whose service I was seeking initially gave me quite a black face (in my opinion) when I first entered the shop. He spoke to me gruffily and just conversed with me on a normal customer level. Then when he discovered I was a christian, his attitude changed. He became more chatty, giving me advice on what I should do about the product, the cost consideration, the design, etc. Then we went further in exchanging details about each other, for instance, which churches we're from, where we stayed, what school I was from... He charged me $15 cheaper, but did qualify that it's not because he knows I'm a christian, but because the service didn't require as much work as initially thought. I guess the most stunning part was when he received a call telling him that his lunch was ready for collection, and he actually left me alone in his shop, telling me to just wait for him till he gets back! I'm amazed that he actually trusts me to be alone in his shop after knowing me for barely 15 minutes! I guess the christian community does go wider than just church surroundings.
Evening:The OC bbq was fantastic! Actually it was only fantastic because I had so much fun talking to the adults! While the rest of the teenagers were busy swimming, dunking each other into the pool, the adults were having a nice quiet time at the tables just chatting about all sorts of various stuff. And even though I was the youngest
adult (emphasis added :P), I felt that I could truly connect with these people! This bunch consists of uncle kimpong, calvin chong and chay hoon, stella, and patrick (though his presence was intermittent). The details of our conversations are hazy to me now, but I still remember the laughter shared, the playful teasing and the interesting anecdotes of their lives. What's more interesting is how I know some of the people they know! For instance, chay hoon knows my mom! (then again, that shouldn't be surprising since almost everyone in church knows my mom. but it does seem that she and my mom share some close relations.) Then when I told her about me studying in law, she could actually identify some of my law lecturers as her classmates! Heh, and she shared interesting news about how he was like back in the school days, heh heh. It's amazing how this world is so small, and how tightly connected this bunch of people are. I guess if you've been in premier schools your whole life and mix around frequently with the same type of people from church, chances are, we would always find ourselves being connected by some person.
It was also interesting to note how young and playful they can be despite their age, and despite being parents themselves. It has really changed my perception of older folk. I've come to realised that I don't need to grow older anymore, even though I may age physically. I'm actually at a very comfortable stage where I can mix with older folk as well as the younger people. And I can see now that this does not need to change. :)
drops of water
sometimes i think i kill myself by reading past emails, with the full knowledge that tears and sorrow are inevitable. yet it's in times of loneliness that i need to read to shroud myself in presence...
good shopping
My poor legs are aching... That can only mean one thing - shopping! Tis' the season to be shopping...
It's been a rather fruitful day. Met up with nicol around lunch time to discuss our bible study. We've got a basic working plan going - I'll email him the questions which I think are important to discuss, while he ties everything up through his themes' approach. Hopefully this friday will be good.
Having finished our discussion pretty early, around 2pm, I decided to head down town to search for presents. Actually, a present. Although I have in mind exactly the kind of thing I want to buy, it does not make shopping any easier, contrary to popular belief. And even though I circled only the tip of orchard road - from wheelock, to isetan scotts, to tangs, then to wisma - it was already enough to kill me! Being an ultra careful and picky shopper, even if I may see something that I really like at one of the shops from the beginning, I cannot rest easy until I've been to all the shops and satisfy myself that that is truly the best I've found. Sometimes after going through all the shops, I discover I have a few pieces in mind, which was what happened today! In which case, I then have to literally sit down and take a few minutes consider my options carefully, and ponder upon the factors which influence my final decision. The peaceful exterior of my face belies the ferocity of thousands of minute electric currents whizzing through my head at that time. Heh. Finally, after some powerful thinking, I resolutely made my decision and headed back to the second item I saw and bought it. Yep, it felt good to be able to make a decision with ease in your heart.
a peculiar shift in thinking
I feel like a pastor preparing for a sermon.
Just conversed with my fellow partner, nicol, about our bible study this friday. The passage we are to investigate is Mark 14-15:39. It basically talks about the last few days of Jesus' life till His journey to the cross where He breathed His last. As I read the passage, images from the movie The Passion of the Christ instinctively replayed themselves in my mind as I was once again deeply moved by how much Christ had to suffer in order to save the lives of many. The more I read it, the more incompetent I felt to discuss this topic. There are so many things to address, so many issues to throw up that I simply have no idea where to begin! This is further compounded by the fact that it's such a heart-wrenching passage. Right now, I'm just overwhelmed with emotions to be able to think properly. Granted, we do have a guidebook that we can follow, but most of us feel it is insufficient for an in depth discussion, preferring to do our own research online, and coming up with our own themes and questions.
nicol was previously a literature student in jc, which is why he automatically adopted a thematic approach to the passage. I, on the other hand, have been trained to think as a lawyer for too long, so my knee-jerk reaction was to raise any possible controversial questions that can be found within the passage. With the combination of our different thinking skills, it's not hard to imagine that the bible study will prove to be very interesting indeed. Yet, we've come to realise that it's because we are so used to thinking in this mode, that we forget that this is bible study, and not some literature text or legal document to be dissected in an indifferent manner. Whatever we've thought about the passage should come from God, and not us interpreting it by our own ways. So we've decided to seriously pray about it before meeting on wednesday to consolidate. I, on my part, have given up going out tomorrow, just so that I can have one whole day to myself simply to meditate on the passage quietly and hope that whatever questions I may have will be pleasing and acceptable to God.
A sudden thought struck me: what if the person I'm going out with tomorrow happens to be someone I really really like? Would I still have the strength to turn down the invitation just so I can concentrate on my preparation? Perhaps this is the true litmus test of my desire for God.
i wish i was a pig
It's been a very pleasant day with fantastic weather. :)
It's 8.53pm and I've not completed a single one of my christmas cards nor have I done any research for my bible study, which was my supposed plan for today. Instead, I literally slept the day away. Woke up at the lovely hour of 10am, had breakfast at 10.30am, lazed around switching channels and reading the newspapers before eating again at 12.30pm. Heh, yeah I was too full to eat actually, but just had a little bite. Then it's off to take a nap again. :) Slept from 1.30pm till around 3.30pm when my best friend called to chat. Yeah, I had earlier messaged her in the morning to chat with me about some issue, so we had a nice chat. We put down the phone at 5pm, and I decided to go back to sleep. Lazed around in bed till 6.30pm before deciding that this was too piggy. Then it's tv and dinner.
Yes, what a nice, lovely, piggy day. And now I have to account to my partner in bible study why I've been so lazy and he's been doing all the work. Haha.
a day of rest
Finally, a day of pure rest for me tomorrow. :)
I'm really looking forward to it because it will be the first day since my exams are over that I can truly have the whole day just to myself. It's pure heaven. I've already decided how I'm going to spend my day. I will begin by taking my time to get up from bed, wash up, have a good breakfast, and then spend the whole day just writing christmas cards. If I've time, I'll probably do some research for my bible study this friday too, though I think my highly-enthusiastic partner nicol would probably have churned out enough material to cover everything. But still, I must do my part. :)
a sense of purity
Tis' the season to be jolly...It's been alright so far. I'm tired from going out so much, but everything has still been pretty much fulfilling. Got my christmas cards, got some of my present-shopping done, but still more to be accomplished. I've got 2 social appointments this week and leading bible study this friday (with nicol). Which gives me just enough time in between to go shop for more presents, buy decorations for my house and for Destination Earth (why am I in charge again?!), and most importantly, write christmas cards. Coz the week after next is the OC camp, which leaves me very little time to do anything else. Sigh.
Even though I haven't done much shopping for myself recently because of the exams, I find it more fulfilling to search for presents for other people rather than for myself. Is the bug of "it's better to give than to receive" biting me already? I guess by imagining the person's face and smiles and reactions towards the present I give gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling, something which far exceeds what I can give myself. It's the thrill of searching for the perfect gift and knowing that the person on the receiving end will be happy that keeps me going. Funny, I've never really felt this way before.
Yesterday, at macdonald's...
Me: Can I have one 50-cent ice-cream?
Guy at the counter: Sure. That'll be 50 cents.
Me: .....
Have you ever seen rows and rows of shoes? Here's one.
It's pure madness. Wonder how the shopkeeper can ever find the shoe the customer wants. But does make for very entertaining photo shots. :P
gourmet delights
I've been eating
wayy too much.
Went out yesterday to celebrate my best friend's birthday with another close friend. The 3 of us have been as thick as thieves since graduating from secondary school, and we've always celebrated each other's birthdays. This year was especially "heavy" since we were turning into the big 2-1, so each celebration was pretty massive.
For the present, my friend and I decided to use all the photos we've taken and put them together to form a hilarious story in a scrapbook. It was superb, if I may say so myself, considering that we took only 2 days to do it - one to plan, the other to do it. And when my best friend read it, and how she laughed as she turned each page, my heart simply melted with delight at how happy and appreciated she was. Heh. I was just happy that she liked the present very much, even though it probably wasn't anything expensive, like all 21st gifts should be. But we did make it up by treating her to a fancy place in suntec city for dinner. Swiss Culture located at the third level of the central convention centre.
This dish is for 2 persons, which I shared with the birthday girl. It consists of stirloin steak, lamb and beef (I think). At the side is the cheese sausage. There were 2 dippings of red wine and black pepper and also an extra side dish of crinkly fries. Yummy.
Dessert was even better.
It was chocolate fondue served with strawberries, slices of banana and marshmellows. Gosh, the marshmellows were simply heaven. With its rich and chewy texture coupled with the bittersweet chocolate-dipping made it into an award-winning aphrodisiac. Yep, you read that right. It was truly an experience to remember. Heh heh.
The eating season begins.
holidays flying by
Every holiday after the exams, my days are always astonishingly filled with activities; this is despite not having planned any at all before the exams. In the end, I always feel that my holidays are spent just doing more and more stuff instead of it being a time for me to relax and enjoy doing nothing. Going out with groups of friends not seen in ages, planning for trips, going for camps, etc. Sometimes I just wish I could stop all this onslaught of activities thrown at me and just feel free to do the stuff that I want rather than go with what people have already planned and trying to rope me in later.
One of the biggest event I'm looking forward to this month is my small group's christmas party! :) It's amazing how we managed to gel so well in such a short space of time (from july till now) in spite of not knowing the existence of each other before that! It helps when we are generally funny people, and how we can take each other's light-hearted comments with a pinch of salt :P; it helps that we are all sporty people and enjoy a good game of badminton every sunday after church; it helps that we all like to eat and make the effort to go for supper every friday after small group, and even if we don't eat, we can just bask in each other's company and enjoy the hilarious talks we always have; and most importantly, it helps that we are all eager to learn about God's word and engage in healthy intellectual debates week after week about what the Bible says. It's a small group truly worth treasuring.
It's going to be held at my place and we're going potluck! Woo hoo. Having seen what everyone's going to bring, I daresay that it's looking to be a supremely sumptous dinner. All the usual christmas food is going to be there - ham, turkey, log cake, cheese cake, mince pies, salads, wine, etc. It's a dinner worth looking forward to. I can't wait! I'm also thinking of how to decorate my home to make it look more christmassy, the kinds of music I should play, the way I should arrange the tables and chairs to make it welcoming and conducive for fun and laughter... What a lovely event to think about.
And this is also the year where all the 21st birthday parties keep popping up. I'm surprised that even though it's at the end of the year, I'm still receiving invites to these parties. Gosh, I've turned down so many throughout the year that I can't keep count. In this month alone, I've received 4 birthday invites. I guess I don't really mind attending them, but the thought of scratching my head to find a suitable gift seriously kills me. I've never been one to be good with presents, always preferring someone else to do the thinking and just chipping in. So, yes, my holidays are also spent trying to find presents. I've already made a list of all the presents I need to buy, which I will do so later.
Then there comes the christmas cards too. It's a tradition that I try to retain, because I feel that it is meaningful to let the person know you're still around (and alive) and pass on the little news about how you're doing, even if it's only on an annual basis. So my christmas cards tend to be lengthy while others merely have a "dear john, merry christmas. love, mary" that sorta thing. So this also means extra effort.
Yup, now I can clearly see where all my holidays have gone to.
incoherent and "high"
The older I grow, the more unused I am to the concept of "camp".
1.
lack of sleep. Even though I was among the lucky few to catch some valuable winks throughout the entire night, I was still in a horrific daze this morning. I'm generally an early sleeper (12+) and an early waker (7+). Without catching sufficient sleep, I'm in no condition to do anything else.
2.
lack of space. Imagine 14 persons squeezed into one tiny 2 single-bed room. Surviving it was, in retrospect, a miracle.
3.
little ms dirty. I've not touched my toiletries or clothes the entire time I was there. And that was from monday noon till tuesday morning. As I've mentioned earlier, lack of sleep equates to doing nothing else, including freshening up.
4.
disruptive bowel systems. One of the greatest peeve during camps in general is that my body's bowel movements get disrupted very badly. I know my body well, and it needs to eat a certain amount of food at a certain time of the day, and it needs to poo pretty regularly too. Anymore food without pooing will just make my stomach tremendously bloated, leaving me with an uncomfortable feeling that just gnaws at me tirelessly. Plus, I'm hardly comfortable pooing in outside places other than my home, sigh. So this is a major drawback.
Other than those complaints, camps are good. Bonds people. Make loads of jokes. Deep dark secrets always get pushed out in the middle of the night, when people are too tired to contain the truth. That's always fun. :)
need rest desperately
Just returned from my crazy day. I've come to realised that no matter how much I say I can handle multiple activities in a day, it's never true. My energy is zapped quickly even after one activity, not to mention four! Right now, my eyes are heavy, my arms ache from the badminton this afternoon, and a general fatigue just hangs over me. That's not to say I didn't enjoy my day; I genuinely did, but I guess I would've enjoyed it more if all my energies were concentrated on a single activity instead of being dispersed in all directions. A true introvert - me.
I wish I didn't have the chalet at sentosa tomorrow, because I seriously feel the need to just take a step back and reflect in my solitude, but my sense of obligation compels me to do otherwise. It'll probably be easier if it was an activity I truly looked forward to, but I don't. Thus the existing fatigue just perpetuates itself into a self-destructing preconception of tomorrow's outing. This bodes badly for me as well as my entire group; if we can't even bring ourselves to like what we are doing, how can we inspire our mentees to do the same? Sigh. Right now, I can only pray for strength to cope with the chalet thing from tomorrow till tuesday. But even after that, I've got several other activities lined up. Ahhh..... I need rest! I seriously do.
Never doubt a woman's intuition. It's probably right at least 75% of the time.Suspicion arouses.
loving it
My days have been wonderfully packed since the cessation of my exams. It's not too busy to the point of losing myself in meaningless activities, yet not too empty too that I will feel restless. So far, all the activities I've been doing are good and fulfilling, and will continue consecutively till tuesday. I'm a natural introvert; I usually need time away from people to recuperate after a long day's interaction with them, but for some inexplicable reason, the activities I've involved myself in haven't been at all that tiring. Maybe it's the cause; or maybe it's the company. :)
Tomorrow's going to be a long, but much awaited day. There's church in the morning, followed by the visit to daren at his place and his newborn, which then leads into badminton at clementi, and the day culminates at my best friend's birthday party (at least for me). So yup, it's going to be pretty hectic, but in an enjoyable kind of way. The feeling of being able to do so many things without having to worry about time wastage is pure euphoria. Lovely.
the long wait is over
It all feels a bit surreal now.Having been made to study for the entire month of november (and I seriously mean the ENTIRE month), the sudden halt in my daily routine makes me feel somewhat unreal, albeit in a peaceful sort of way. A load has been taken off my aching shoulders, and I no longer have to worry about time being of the essence, and feeling guilty about indulging myself in the occasional breaks. I can now immerse myself freely in the holiday spirit, look forward to camps and christmas parties, and hanging out with my close friends whom I've not seen for ages. Shopping, eating, buying presents, writing christmas cards... The world's my oyster now, I can do whatever I want. :)
The feeling this time round is especially sweet, knowing that I've put in the necessary effort to perform in this particular round of exams, and kept very much to the strict regime I've set out for myself, thus reaping the "rewards" of being able to tackle the questions. And all that nonsense about exams flying by quickly - so not true. Even after it's over, I don't feel as if it went by quickly at all; all I can remember was the pain and torture of having to read my notes over and over again, while the rest of the world was focused on the festive season. It was pure pain, but it's over now. The sweetness after it is simply delectable. God's hands really move in ways unfathomable.
I've never cried and laughed so much all in a single night. It's a whirlwind in here. God help us.
