far, far away
The flight's tonight, yet it feels strangely surreal. Packing's 90% done, just the toiletries left unpacked which I usually leave till the end. Somehow, I think I'm not mentally prepared. Haven't travelled to a cold country in ages, and neither have I been away for this long either. It's not a first for me, but the last time a similar holiday took place was in primary school, a two-week trip to new zealand with family. But I was too young then, to worry about logistics and sufficient clothing. It's different this time. There are things I need to do on my own. And with my economical packing mindset, having people telling me to pack more is not something I'm used to. Sigh. But I suppose everything about this trip is novel to me anyway. I just need mental preparation.
Back end june.
holiday stress
Ok this is it. I've pushed it until the very last day. I cannot escape it any longer. Packing needs to be done, resume needs to be written. Last minute work is definitely not me, but the adrenaline rush is certainly a thrill. ;p
These days, I only zoom into the world cup page and live vicariously through the eyes of the sports analysts by playing the game in my imaginative mind. It seriously sucks when I don't have cable. :(
the poor life
Today, a most powerful sermon had been preached. And I felt so blessed to hear it.
Rev Chiu Ming Li is really quite an extraordinary man. His style of delivery was amazing - the gentleness yet firmness of his voice allowed his heartfelt message to strike deep into the hearts of the congregation. "God in our midst" was a deceptively boring title - it was anything but. He serves in prison missions, and was telling us how God had been real to the prisoners, offering them a new lease of hope despite them feeling worthless. He showed us how God had been real to the victims of crime by allowing them to let go of their hatred, shame and fears. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, he reminded us how often we forget that sometimes we, too, are entrapped in our own prisons, through our personal hatred, addictions, fear and even pride.
The one sentence he said that struck me the most was, the people who are truly broken-hearted are not those who cry. The people who are truly broken-hearted are the ones who are unable to shed anymore tears because their hearts have hardened due to the protective layer they have created around it.
I teared.I'm seldom this touched by a sermon. The genuinity and sincerity with which he delivered his message warmed my heart deeply. Poverty in Singapore is truly more terrifying than in less-developed countries. Imagine being the small minority of the truly poor in a supposed first world country, whereas in less-developed countries, there is at least tiny joy in having companionship in sufferings. Sigh. The comforts I enjoy suddenly seem sinful.
soccer, food, girly
It's the World Cup fever again, gripping me (and everyone else) like nobody's business. Stayed up last night to watch the opening match between germany and costa rica. Heh, the first half was exciting enough to entice me till half-time. Thereafter, my eyelids just kept drooping until I had to pick my tired body up and lug it back to bed. :( But it was a good first-half nevertheless.
And today, I had a nice evening out with my sc friends to chijmes. Hog's Breath Cafe, lovely prime ribs. We ordered three main dishes shared amongst us, and each dish was equally tantalising. I had a hard time deciding which one I liked the best, heh.
With Hog's Breath bbq sauce. Yummy. And look at how beautifully the mashed potato swirls! Almost like ice cream!
With avacado and melted cheese. The avacado adds a refreshing cool taste to the prime rib.
A french name which eludes me at this moment. With melted cheese, spicy tomato sauce and the vegetable which (in my opinion) is a cross between green chilli and pickle, haha. Can't remember its name at the moment. But good stuff. Liked the tangy spicyness.
Soonafter, the match between england and paraguay tuned on, and at once, you could literally sense the intensity of everyone's attention on the tv screen, despite it being small and the players looking like ants. But the comraderie of everyone supporting england made it very enjoyable to watch. When the first goal came in the third minute, everyone was shouting and cheering together. :) A very pleasant experience indeed. Loved it. :) But oh well, we only stayed to watch the first half because one of our friends wasn't really into soccer at all. In any case, that was the one and only goal scored in the entire match, so no loss. :)
My sc friends gave me 4 pairs of earrings and a necklace for my birthday present. :) Was supposed to choose a present for myself, but oh well, time wasn't on our side, so they went ahead and picked something for me. When I first saw them, they didn't strike me as something I would wear because they were chunky and ornamental. But having tried them on at home, I realised how lovely they were. So very ethnic and grown-up did I look. :) I guess one's taste can (and should) be changed every once in a while. Parochial attitudes, even in tastes, can hamper one's desire to improve, heh. ;p Can't wait to wear them. Indulge in my girlish ways, even if I don't appear that way often. ;)
attract, repel
I never understood the traditional, time-honoured adage of "opposites attract". Let's not even for a moment consider marital relations. Let's just confine it to the realms of friendship.
We develop close friendships easily in our younger days due to our malleable personalities and search for identity. The desire to fit in propels our herd-mentality. Our personalities take the form of those we follow. Birds of a feather flock together. Opposites don't attract. Most will disagree that the close friends they now have are vastly different from them. And they may be quite right. But more often that not, these friendships date way back to their childhood days (secondary and jc included), so much so that such shared experiences will inevitably form part of the "similarities" they share. Personalities may differ or have drastically changed, but these treasured memories will hold them stead for a long time.
Look at our older, mature (current) state. Many of us are often unable (and sometimes unwilling) to expend much energy in forming friendships. Differences in personalities/interests will only add to such energy. Less memories are also shared. Which explains why it becomes more difficult to form close friendships when one gets older unless two people are
very very similar.
Although I do wonder... Do extroverts have an easier time bonding with different personality-type people, since by definition, they're energized by the presence of people, similar or otherwise? Are friendships between like-minded creatures all that beneficial? How does a
typical male and
typical female actually get together and marry? By typical, I assume they are innately different, such as the male having male interests and likewise for the female. I guess this is where I challenge the "opposites attract" theory. To me (in a marriage context), it can only refer to the gender.
run away, run away
You know one of those times when something really pressing needs to be done, but it's simply too enormous to handle, that you just force yourself not to think about it and push it away till the very end, living life in blissful oblivion (
my favourite state of mind, haha)? This is one of those times for me. Packing not done, resume not written, haven't read up... Sigh. External pressure takes centrestage of my stress at this moment. Unpredictable yet critically important, sigh. Worse, there's no pushing away.
fiction vs truth
The Da Vinci Code appeals to my love for riddles and intense search for complex answers, despite the ludicrity of it. It hasn't shaken my faith because I know what I have experienced and stand fast to what I believe. The draw of the show was tom hank's character's intelligence and his amazing ability to remember and solve all the difficult puzzles. Such characters never cease to astound me, and I hold a deep respect and admiration of such people. Was it blasphemous? Definitely. Was it offensive? Only if you let it be. It wasn't offensive to me, because it's merely another person's opinion (or a warped distortion) of the truth. If he chooses to present it in that manner, that's his
tai ji (hokkien for 'business'). As long as I know what is real and true, that's all that matters.
GSS. Shop, shop, shop. I need to exercise self-control. :(
Travel. Hike, hike, hike. Extremely tired, bad blisters, weak ankle-skin. :(
camera, room
Shopping of any type is always therapeutic. It keeps your mind off things and creates excitement (as ephemeral as it may be) with new wares.
I just bought a new SD card for my camera from the pc show. Kingston, 1 GB, $34. It's really a steal. But somehow it doesn't seem compatible with my canon ixus II leh. I mean, it works, but in a weird way. When I switch on the camera, it doesn't show previous images. It's only after taking one shot, that I can review that shot as well as the rest. When it's in camera-mode when it's switched on, the screen displays a "memory card error" message and prevents me from taking pictures. It's only after I switch to display-mode and switch back to camera-mode that it can start taking pictures. How weird is that?! And how irritating too. Camera experts out there, save me! :)
The recent room invasion by the workers have left me with deep thoughts as to how I viewed my room. I guess it's my one safe haven where I do my reflections, quiet time and rest; the one place I retreat to when I am upset; the place that holds memories. Guarding it jealously is the least I could do for it. Heh.
i kill myself sometimes
i'm nuts. i know it. i saw it coming. i couldn't resist the temptation to ask. and i'm suffering the consequences of it. am i being foolish? should i always live in blissful oblivion? sigh.
worn out
The absolute worst about having renovations at your home is the total lack of privacy. Workers scaling up and down your windows, invading the intimates of your bedroom and bathroom, walking around the house as if they're part of it... Sigh. Can't do anything in peace.
Travelling is consuming every inch of my mind at the moment. So swarmed am I with plans and logistics that I cease to conjure interesting thoughts, even for myself. Argh.
itches, shopping, cakes
Just a few minutes ago, I was like a mad woman, desperately trying to stop the itch of the sandfly bites from killing me. I rubbed and beat my skin repeatedly just so I won't be tempted to rip the skin off me. But thankfully I've been rescued by the all-powerful tiger balm. With a few quick applications on the specific spots, the rapid evaporation of the oily liquid leaves behind a cooling sensation and soothed my irritable skin. :) Oh what joy. The price of missions. Heh.
Spent a nice day shopping with my sc friend today, one of the three who share similar tastes and shopping styles with me. My favourite buy of the day (actually there are only two, heh) was a lovely jacket with material as soft as silk. *happy sigh* I was frantically deciding between a lime-green one or a grey one. It took me a long while and a massive headache because I liked them both so much. I wore each one for a few minutes and blatantly paraded myself in front of the mirror (amid the curious looks) just to see for which colour did my heart pound faster. In the end, I rationalised that as much as I loved the novelty and attention the lime-green one gave me, it doesn't provide the comfort and stability that the grey one showers me with, and more importantly, my heart beat faster for the grey one.
Heh, doesn't this sound familiar in another aspect of our lives? ;pCoffee Bean has among the best cakes around. I've tried three cakes there so far, and none has failed my expectations. Carrot cake - check. Apple crumble - check. On today's plate, blueberry cheesecake - check. I absolutely dig the melting of the cheese on my tongue. There's nothing quite like a gorgeous tea to end the day.
chiang rai mission trip
Yes, I'm back, covered with numerous red itchy spots caused by sandflies, with red scorching skin caused by the unrelenting sun, but with the fondest memories of the village people and the warmth they exude.
I always hear of people going on mission trips and returning with exclamations of how warm and friendly the village people are, but only experiencing it firsthand did it truly convict me of it.
The team comprised of adrian (team leader), jean (his wife), daren, nicol and myself. We visited an Akha tribe which was in Banana Village in Chiang Rai. The place was as rural as it can get. Houses made of bamboo and dried grass lined the sides of the hill, creating a terrace-like effect when viewed from the bottom. The weather was mostly hot, ground was dusty, water was scarce and sometimes brownish even. Toilet was of a squatting kind, and one needs to use buckets of water to "flush" it, almost a throwback to our ancestors' days. Perhaps the only sliver of technology they own is electricity for fans, lights and a refrigerator, and running water (albeit only a trickle).
We slept on bamboo mats under the safe and protective cover of a huge mosquito net. It was comfortable, surprisingly. The only drawback is the early rising of the sun (6am there looks like 7.30am here, discounting the hour difference), and compounding the problem were biologically untuned cocks which crowed at 3+am. And they continued crowing even after the sun was in our faces.
Playing games with the youths was probably the highlight of my trip. To see the smiles and pure enjoyment in the simple games that we planned warmed my heart greatly. Sigh. Language played the biggest barrier. It's so hard to want to play and chat with them properly yet being prevented from doing so by mere language. For many moments, I just wished I could speak Thai.
Food was surprisingly palatable. Although it contained chiefly of rice and vegetables (with the occasional chicken), it was quite tasty. I was informed though that they put a lot of ajinomoto. But still. ;)
Overview of the village from a bird's eye view.
First meal when we arrived. Lunch. Looks good eh.
Traditional dress worn by the elder women of the village. From left (excluding the two women) - nicol, myself, daren (small group) and asholi (local missionary).
