chug along now
Excessive blogging only spells one thing: danger of losing my steam. :(
Sigh, I feel it, you know. Especially this week. Previously, there were only tutorials to prepare for and general studying, so I was pretty much on the ball. But with the recent invasion of unwelcomed assignments, it's not difficult to see why I'm suddenly saddled with a heavier dose of stress. I very much want to study for the exams but the assignments simply demand every inch of my brain. So much so that this week, I find myself moving more sluggishly than before. I need to restart the engine, I need to pick up steam. Heat me up, sunny!
nature, please
It's a glorious friday morning, beautifully sunny with rays of sunshine streaming into the balcony. Little movements of leaves indicate the presence of a slight breeze nicely tempering the heat. The vast light blue above provides the perfect background for clumps of white fluffy clouds to move gently and measuredly, as if they were royalty on the red carpet for all to admire. It is
perfection at its best.
I have a few dream houses in mind. I can't decide if I would like to live at the top of a hill, where I'm as close to the sky as possible and can immerse myself in luxuriant fresh air and witness many amazing sunsets or have a quaint abodement beside a majestic river, where my eyes can feast on the swishing of water and hear tender trickling sounds all day long. Sigh. If I stay in Singapore, they can only remain dreams.
work, work
I'm doing the best I can already but somehow it's just impossible to keep up with the influx of work. As much as I want to study for the exams now and keep my early days of november free, the task is regrettably unattainable. With 4 ongoing assignments, each demanding an inordinate amount of time and energy, it leaves me very little for anything else. I'm already cutting down on social lunches and dinners and filling every minute with useful activity, but it still seems incredibly difficult to stay afloat. Hai. Must be efficient at all costs.
some thoughts
as i grow older, i begin to realise there's no such thing as common sense. common sense is premised on the fact that there is something fundamentally common to every human being. but given the diversity of climate, environment, culture, family background and personal experiences, how can anyone claim any commonality in that? perhaps the only time we can claim someone lacks common sense is when that person comes from substantially the same background as you do, and even then, the term "common sense" is applicable only between the two of you, and not with regards to the rest of society.
on a related note, i've also been pondering the link between perfection and human rationality. you see, in economics theory, the basis which we come up with graphs and formulas is the assumption that in an ideal (i.e. perfect) world, human beings make rational choices with their money. suffice to say, such a world does not exist because human beings are never rational all the time, and do make decisions based on emotions. thus, economics seem to suggest that only rationality equates to perfection, anything else falls short. my question therefore is, is the reason why "all human beings are imperfect" solely because we are at times irrational? can we not say that it is because we are irrational that we are perfectly human, and conversely if we were rational all the time, we would be imperfect humans? would it not then mean that computers and robots are more perfect than us because they function void of emotions? which then begs the question of how imperfect human beings can create beings more perfect than themselves. this is illogical (and by that sentence, i'm betraying my own theory).
human beings are strange creatures. i shall never cease to be amazed.
health is wealth
It's all too easy to take youth and health for granted. It's when the body starts to break down and not function as optimally as before that one starts to wonder why in the world did one ever worry about anything else in the world at all. What's the point of pursuing fame, wealth, appearances or popularity or being anxious over broken friendships/relationships/careers when one loses the capacity to do all those things? At the end of it all, life is fundamentally about maintaining a good healthy body that can last you, with hope (I don't believe in luck), about 60 years. Everything else will fall in place.
appreciate
sigh! i must remind myself that life isn't perfect, and i can't have my cake and eat it too. there are so many more important things in my life to be thankful for and to pursue, let not this trivial matters hold me back from enjoying life to its fullest.
against all odds
Don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. - James 4:4
As my peers explore the adult world with me, it really tests the limits of this verse. This verse was so easy to follow when I was much younger, when all my friends were innocent and easily contented and the activities we engaged in were good, clean fun. But as we grow older, and start mixing with the older crowd, certain commodities or activities become (strangely) more highly sought after - appearance, people they know, amount of salary, material possessions, expensive food and wine, etc. Don't they know that no matter how much they hoard, they can never fill their insecurities with these? Don't they know that only their belief in their intrinsic value as a human being can sustain them forever, and everything else will turn to dust and be eaten by moths? I must admit, it's hard not to get caught up in a world where wealth is highly tagged to one's worth, but reading this verse gives me the strength to persevere.
give me strength to keep going
It's the end of yet another week, and I'm finding myself a little more drained than expected. As much as I've tried to stick to a grab-every-moment regime to maximise my limited time, after a while, it gets exhausting. Every single moment is
too purposeful. Every waking hour is planned with some activity, be it work or play. It's been a while since I've last touched my (leisure) book, as exciting and provoking as it has shown itself to be. Sigh. But at the same time I'm reluctant to give myself a break, because I know how precious my time is now. If I don't keep consistent work now, november is going to be extremely difficult. Perhaps keeping the reward in sight makes bearing the burden now a little easier.
seeing the world for what it is
The mind of a working adult really changes the way one sees the world. Where in the past I used to take things that come to me so easily for granted, now I see the hard and meticulous work behind every good product. Instead of seeing something at face value for what it's worth, I now find myself asking more questions, trying to find out the process through which it took to arrive at its final stage. It's interesting, you know, to understand the steps taken to reach a certain outcome. You try to digest the logic that lies beneath those steps and gape in wonder at the brains behind it.
A purposeful life is not one that serves an ultimate purpose, although one can take it to mean that way. But no, it is one that demands every step to have a purpose. Every action, every thought, every breath, and even every word uttered must have a purpose. In that sense, we can have many purposes in life especially at different stages, and not all purposes necessarily have to be good. In my view I rather applaud someone who has a bad purpose than someone who has no purpose.
