Tuesday, June 26, 2007

staying late at work

Freak la. I'm already done with my work and waiting to talk to my boss about it but he's busy with a conference call at the moment and I have no freaking idea what time it's gonna end! Argh. The perils of working. Wait let me clarify that. The perils of working under a boss. Sigh. This week is majorly busy, I've no idea why. Suddenly I'm piled up with so many matters that my list of things-to-do looks so full! I thought I could go home early the past few days but the nature of work is such that it's so unpredictable. You never know when something needs to be done by that particular day. Sigh, being the super organised and efficient me, I hate not being able to plan my hours - my hours of play and rest in particular. :( Is this the life for me? Sigh. Everyone's almost gone and I'm still stuck here waiting to speak to my boss. I wonder if I should go. But I can't, I shouldn't. I'm feeling so sleepy now. I miss my bed.. I miss a lot of things.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

remembering those who are suffering

Work looks set to be slow and quiet this week. My boss' father suddenly passed away yesterday morning and all of us from the firm went down to visit him at his place after work yesterday. It was quite a sight to see him in his home clothes and with ungelled hair. He was no longer the funny but demanding boss I was used to at work, but a sombre, quiet and tired-looking man greeted me. His voice soft, his eyes filled with hidden grief. My heart went out to him almost instantly. He spoke to us about the funeral plans in as a moderate tone as he could muster, trying very hard not to break down. His mum was by his side, every so often wringing her hands tightly and listening intently to our conversation, even though she could not understand a word that was being said. Perhaps, as my boss later replied in an email, that it was a way for her (and him too) to momentarily forget reality by focusing on the voices and presence of others. There were still times when he displayed his natural wit. Like when he was showing us his medicine cabinet with labels on each drawer for each ailment. One was labelled ear, another stomach and so on. So a colleague of mine joked that in the ear drawer lay an ear. And immediately my boss picked up on it and said, "How do you know? You should see the "bottom" drawer." At first I literally thought he meant the bottom drawer and was craning my neck to see what the bottom drawers held. It was only after a while that I realised "bottom" meant "backside" and grabbed my hair in mock exasperation at his corny joke. But that was about the only time I saw him laugh that night. Soon the number of friends and well-wishers grew so we left. But I took home with me an unforgettable image of the limpness in his body and the pain in his eyes.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

reality bites

I feel it deeply stirring within me: something is wrong with this world. I never thought I'd say this but people do chase ephemeral dreams of wealth, power and fame, and essentially focus a hundred percent on themselves. The things I've been thought to reject - sins of selfishness, self-centeredness, insensitivity - are things I thought were commonsensical and would easily be understood by anyone with a quarter of a brain. But as reality pans out, there are a whole lot more of stupid people out there than I thought. People who don't see beyond their immediate circle, who live solely for themselves, who have total disregard for the wisdom behind certain administrative rules, who are always discussing the latest news of others, who are always trying to keep up with the Joneses. I don't know. Perhaps my secondary school friend was right. scgs was indeed sheltered with the most lovable friends one can find, so much so that scgs girls aren't prepared to face the harsh reality of selfish, unreflective people. So what do I do with reality now? Struggle against it? Oppose it? Try to change it? I am, but one girl, one person. Teach me how I should live.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

scenery pics in nepal

Some scenery shots of nepal. :)

This was taken from Phewa Lake at Pokhara. The most breath-taking sight in the town. 6-, 7- and 8-thousanders just shot up from nowhere and surreptitiously steals your heart.

Still at Pokhara, rode up to a nearby hill called Sarangkot to catch the first glimpse of the sunrise. Love the extension of the rays.

Did I ever mention that sunsets are my favourite, favourite natural wonder? I LOVE sunsets. There in nepal, I am so thankful for the many days I had to catch dozens and dozens of brilliantly beautiful sunsets. This was taken in Pokhara too, sitting at the garden of a restaurant. My friend and I were actually privileged to watch the sun slowly cruising behind the mountains, shyly unaware of its amazing beauty as it does so. Sigh.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

working life

This poor little space has been neglected as a result of my sudden push into the big, bad working world. :( Today's the third day at work and I think being in a small firm has the added advantage of receiving exclusive and privileged attention from the lawyers, associates and secretaries. With only two pupils in the firm, there is sufficient space to provide each of us with a nice spacious desk to ourselves and a fully functioning internet to work on. I realised it's actually quite a necessity to have a big piece of wood to do my work. It makes the environment a more pleasant one to work in, somehow, and frees my mind to think as broadly as possible. In fact, over the next few days, I intend to spice up my little space and make it as personal as possible. A small plant here, a picture there maybe, and tada, it instantly morphs into a serena space, heh.

Working is definitely a whole new lifestyle I need to get used to. The first day was hard, especially having just returned from an adventure-filled, independent and free-and-easy trip where I could plan to do what I want at any time I like. Suddenly being chained up to a chair and desk for long hours was the complete antithesis of what my body and soul was crying out for. It made me moody over the weekend. But it got better. The lawyers were, thankfully, very helpful, and took me through the work step-by-step. Hopefully this keeps up.

The hardest thing about working is missing my afternoon naps. The hour between 2 to 3pm is always a huge challenge for my eyelids to remain up. Hai.