the earth turns
It's the annual winding down of yet another year. Somehow, as I grow older, the coming of a new year doesn't seem to excite me as much. To further unromanticise it, it's simply another beginning of a revolution of the earth. But I guess it's timely to take stock of your life once in a while, and seeing how most people don't do it on a regular basis, the year-end serves as an appropriate rest-point to do so. What has this year done for me? In many respects I've changed and grown a lot, especially in the later parts of the year. I know I've said this before, but I still can't get over how I've come to discover that inner talent in me to be able to turn black into white and possibly back to black again. With the amount of writing I had to do, this semester's modules have really honed my skills which are to be my ricebowl when I begin legal work. It's simply frightful to think that I can actually argue without morals, or convince myself with a snap of my fingers that this viewpoint is right or that opinion is correct. As a result, I found myself increasingly intolerant of divergent viewpoints simply because I see their loopholes too easily. Sigh. It's an occupational hazard, one that could potentially put my inherent character at stake and change the face of serena forever. I guess I can only pray for the wisdom to balance my newfound skills with the clarity of the spirit and the soul so that I will use them for good, heh.
What else? I've climbed out of the cocoon I've spunned around myself and interacted more with my law friends, with the help of some closer ones. And yes, I've come to enjoy their wit, laughter and company immensely. I found a renewed love for reading and have grown closer to God through some of the books I've read. It's amazing how the peace and joy of God can give one so much security. I've also become bolder in what I think. In the past, I used not to voice out my opinions because I was afraid that people would laugh at me or that I would be the only one thinking in that way, and hence wrong. But I guess age gives one the all-powerful thick-skinnedness to challenge settled views, tear down traditions and lay new foundations for which radical concepts are to built on. The discovery of the power of being an individual is mind-blowing. I guess I've always known that this power exists, but I never really dared to exercise it until now. I'm not too sure what I am going to do with this power as yet, but at least I have sufficient courage to wield it now.
Happy new year; it's been a happy year. :)
food me
I don't think I've ever had dinner out an entire week before, but this week looks set to be a record-breaker. Gosh, it's been nights after nights of feasting even after christmas, and the food doesn't seem to lower in standard. Truly this is the traditional year-end celebration of just pure indulgence, with generous portions of smacking good food and wonderful company too. Sigh. Food is a real pamperer to the soul, for some strange reason. Just 2-3 days left before we welcome in 2007. I'm growing up too fast.
lovely nonsense
The holidays are passing too fast for me, yet I'm enjoying every moment of it. :) I just wish time would slow down and let me savour each minute fully and wonderfully before moving on. Sigh. I find that when each hols come, my brain just goes into an automatic shutdown mode. Having sprinted throughout the entire semester, with intense work thrown at us at every 10m (metaphorically-speaking), it was hard for my brain not to be in tip-top condition. Now, it's even a struggle to construct a logical counter or comment to another's remark. My mind's just all woozy with fun and joy to bother to think straight. Heh. I'm going to be rather gibberish this season. Which works out nicely. :)
hainan island (4) plants
Interesting, pretty flower. Not too sure of the origin of the plant.
Another interesting hairy flower.
Pepper plant. You can see the strands of pepper pods hanging from the beneath the leaves.
Gigantic cabbages. :)
hainan island (3) streets
A street in haikou. First day, wet and rainy, supremely cold.
View from the first hotel we stayed in.
A street down south of hainan, near my aunt's hometown. Forgot what it's name.
The bridge at haikou. Big and majestic.
hainan island (2) ancestral home
Specially for my flying cousin, heh. ;)
A photo of a cousin of mine and me outside my mom's village.
My mom's ancestral home.
The fireworks that they lit up for us. Gosh, it was so loud I only managed to take a 7-second video of it before giving up and deciding to protect my precious eardrums instead. But good old fun. Haven't had that since the last time I went back, which was in 1993.
happy
happiness abounds. :)
hols are here
I don't know if the rain is a boon or a bane. On one hand, it's annoying having to coop yourself up at home, or at least be disincentivise to move from the house when the rain is pouring so heavily everyday. There are so many outdoor activities that one can't do! Yet on the other, snuggling up under the warm sheets and having the most beautiful nap of your life is just too alluring to resist. :) I feel sleepy just feeling warm under my blanket.
On an entirely different note, just to show how cock-up the English of the Chinese can be:
It's been wonderful hols so far. Sigh. I don't know where to begin to describe the incredible feeling inside me.
hainan island
Just returned from hainan island, and it's been quite an experiential trip. I saw my nanny who took care of me when I was younger (she still recognises me!), learnt more about my mom's side of the family tree, spoke a little hainanese, experienced city life and the hellish driving of taxi drivers, understood the common attitude of the chinese is to defend themselves, ate interesting food and of course, shopped like mad as things there are so fantastically cheap!
The famous hainanese chicken from wenchang. Skin is thick, but the meat is tough and chewy. It's the sauce that makes all the difference! Soy sauce, garlic, lime, chilli, vinegar all put together. Yum.
We ate tim sum for every breakfast! This was one of my favourite ha kaos. The prawns are so big and many and fresh!
Went to a seaside restaurant for one of the lunches. Supremely fresh prawns. My cousin and I peeled and ate the most! It's just so tantalisingly sweet. :)
One of the more exotic dishes we tried. Duck's tongue. ;) They fried it and salted it so much that it didn't taste much different from any other fried dish, except that the "meat" was chewy and there was a cartilage in it soft enough to bite and eat.
beauty sleep
Yesterday and today have been the most fantastic afternoons I had since exams ended. I was so sleepy after church that I promptly konked out the moment my head touched the pillow. I slept till lunch, ate, and slept again, from a glorious 1.30-4.30pm. Gosh, the feeling of just lazing in bed without no urgency to get up was wonderful. I felt so beautifully piggy. ;) I repeated the feat this afternoon, with sounds of rain pitter-pattering on the roof and at the window to complete the fulfilling experience. Sleep has never been coveted so greatly as now. :)
need rest
I must've watched the show a gazillion times, but everytime it begins, my eyes just glue themselves to the screen. The images, the songs, the lyrics, the scenery, the beautiful horses... Yes, it's the Spirit: Stallion of the Cinnaron. The zest for life, the pursuit of freedom, the flagrant defiance of tyrannical authority. My heart melts each time it comes to the part where the stallion takes that leap of faith over the wide gorge, and finally won the respect of his pursuer. It's just amazing how life can be so empowering and liberating, and that there are compelling motivations to make you do things you never thought possible. Really love the songs in there.
Absolutely exhausted from going out every single day since my exams ended. In need of at least a day's rest to myself. Hope it comes.
time alone
It's a me-day tomorrow. Go me. :) Yay.
growing (like a beanstalk)
This is the stage of my life where people around me are quickly growing up and beginning to find their place in the world. The change in behaviour, the maturity of thought, the ability to think and the discovery of inner strength and wisdom that usually comes only with age and experience. I'm all of only 22, yet I already know that these are the best years of my life. Being close to God, being comfortable in my own skin, not bothering too much about what people say, focusing my energy on the things that really matter. This is a sentiment I think I share with my fellow peers. I believe it's the age of technology that makes youths these days grow up faster. With knowledge comes confidence and fearlessness, and no longer are we shackled by the limited sources of knowledge. Information is so easily available that the young just get older faster. But in a good way too. In the past, I believe growing older connotes a tinge of cynism and jadedness; but now, the youths grow old with delight and anticipation of the many choices and paths available to them. There's a whole new world waiting to for us to grasp. I always wondered whether I need to grow up into my parents' image, whether they are symbols of what adults should be. But I realised now that there is no need to. My friends and I are going to be a new breed of adults heh.
In other news, I think daniel craig is simply the bomb as james bond. :) I don't know why everyone says he's not good-looking; I think he is leh. He's got character built into his face that pierce brosnan's pretty face sorely lacks. Plus his fantastic physique and stunning blue eyes makes him a sight to behold. The movie was good, or at least the book was well-written; I like intricate plots.
making experiences count
The sheer comfortability of the weather coupled with images of fantasies in my head make me want to close my eyes, curl up in my warm bed and live life in my own imaginations.
There's a reason why experiences always seem more beautiful when reliving them in memories than going through it at that point in time, even though you consciously tell yourself to enjoy the moment. The human mind is so powerful that it can conjure experiences and recreate them to be better than they actually were. Reality always seem to disappoint, don't you think? The anticipating, the looking-back, the joy of receiving something new.. Somehow all these seem so much more delightful in our thoughts than reality proves. Sigh.
The solution? Live reality as if it were not reality.
thoughts and reality
The Singapore weather at this time of the year is simply beautiful. The coolness of the rain has caused the average temperature to dip considerably, giving the day a constant 24-25 degree celcius. Right now there's a light breeze lifting the white curtain off its feet, and a single whiff of the fresh air brings an inexplicable lightness to my being. It's the perfect type of weather to take a walk amidst greenery, to just take some time off the concrete and crowd and immerse yourself fully in thoughts and reflections.
I've been doing some thinking in relation to thoughts and reality. I find that people who think more are the ones who are less afraid of reality and failure. My theory is that people who think have a different perception of reality altogether; they know that they have the power to mould reality into a perception of their choice, and are therefore less afraid of what the world would throw at them. In any situations, they will be able to pick themselves up easily after they fall. But if that's the case, what is God there for? So I also came to the conclusion that since it is our souls who do the thinking (quite apart from the body and brain we live in), and souls are a gift from God, then our thoughts are God's way of communicating to us. So by thinking, we are actually utilising the inherent strength that God has given each and everyone of us from the very beginning.
The question begets, how does one begin to think? How does one begin to utilise the powerful tool that God has given us? And the only answer I can find is, read. Reading fuels imagination, questions, doubts, and eventually leads one to seek fervently for the truth. People often form judgments and opinions based on what they know and read, so the more knowledge you acquire, the more you begin to realise that there is always a disparity between your beliefs and reality and things are not so black-and-white, and this will no doubt force you to re-evaluate your initial beliefs and prejudices (if any). You have to begin to search for a different formula to relate to reality, with well-defined exceptions to fit the disparity in, kinda like making the law, you know. You acquire the flexibility of thought and the power to pull yourself together when reality ceases to be rosy. This is the kind of inherent strength we need to discover and hone.
