a peculiar shift in thinking
I feel like a pastor preparing for a sermon.Just conversed with my fellow partner, nicol, about our bible study this friday. The passage we are to investigate is Mark 14-15:39. It basically talks about the last few days of Jesus' life till His journey to the cross where He breathed His last. As I read the passage, images from the movie The Passion of the Christ instinctively replayed themselves in my mind as I was once again deeply moved by how much Christ had to suffer in order to save the lives of many. The more I read it, the more incompetent I felt to discuss this topic. There are so many things to address, so many issues to throw up that I simply have no idea where to begin! This is further compounded by the fact that it's such a heart-wrenching passage. Right now, I'm just overwhelmed with emotions to be able to think properly. Granted, we do have a guidebook that we can follow, but most of us feel it is insufficient for an in depth discussion, preferring to do our own research online, and coming up with our own themes and questions.
nicol was previously a literature student in jc, which is why he automatically adopted a thematic approach to the passage. I, on the other hand, have been trained to think as a lawyer for too long, so my knee-jerk reaction was to raise any possible controversial questions that can be found within the passage. With the combination of our different thinking skills, it's not hard to imagine that the bible study will prove to be very interesting indeed. Yet, we've come to realise that it's because we are so used to thinking in this mode, that we forget that this is bible study, and not some literature text or legal document to be dissected in an indifferent manner. Whatever we've thought about the passage should come from God, and not us interpreting it by our own ways. So we've decided to seriously pray about it before meeting on wednesday to consolidate. I, on my part, have given up going out tomorrow, just so that I can have one whole day to myself simply to meditate on the passage quietly and hope that whatever questions I may have will be pleasing and acceptable to God.
A sudden thought struck me: what if the person I'm going out with tomorrow happens to be someone I really really like? Would I still have the strength to turn down the invitation just so I can concentrate on my preparation? Perhaps this is the true litmus test of my desire for God.
posted by solitude @ 10:18 PM
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