fixated on dreams
I apologise for having sporadic outbursts of incoherent words.I thought I could get away with presenting this semester, but it seems that my luck has ran out. I was tasked (indirectly) by my group to do a presentation this afternoon on securitisation. Fortunately, I happen to pay extra attention during this lecture and could grasp the essence of this topic. Spent the entire morning with my friend just working through the details and typing out our presentation layout. My part is done for now, so I'm basically waiting for her side. It's fun to work, IF you know what is going on.
I haven't presented in ages. The thought of standing in front of a group of students, local (more than half are older than me) and foreign, as well as practising lawyers, intimidates me. This is no longer like the little presentation I did last semester, where only about 14 pairs of eyes were on me. Today, there'll be a good 80 pairs of eyes, boring straight into my face, scrutinising not just everything I say, but the way I stand, how I present, what I'm wearing (so I figure since this is something I'm guilty of myself)... It's seriously scary to have so much attention paid to you, especially when you personally don't even notice it yourself. It helps that my friend's with me. :)
I'm still in a state of reality denial, even as I go about executing my daily responsibilites. My body is moving in a decided way because it's been conditioned to do so, but my brain isn't in it anymore. At least, not yet.
posted by solitude @ 11:55 AM
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