much rest
For the longest time, I cannot figure out why I dislike being out on a Saturday afternoon. While families and friends frantically seize the weekend opportunity to go out, I very much relish the idea of staying put at home to recharge. Perhaps I've long regarded home (or rather my third floor) as a safe haven for me to escape from all the pressures of the world. The world sends many messages that are deeply contrary to my beliefs, and as I grow older, it becomes increasingly harder to fight them. I often find myself entangled in convoluted conversations with friends coming from diametrically opposite ends, so much so that these days I don't feel the desire to open my mouth. It's so tiring to put forth my thoughts knowing the backlash and silent sneers that I inevitably get, that I just prefer to remain mum, or talk about inconsequential, non-contentious stuff (which even then demands much energy from me).At home, in my third floor, where I'm all alone, I can switch on the aircon to escape from the relentless heat, lie on my favourite, most comfortable couch, hug a pillow and close my eyes and dream of beautiful things. Silence.
posted by solitude @ 4:45 PM
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