the what-ifs
Sigh, I'm so stressed that I wish I could cry...Exams are in 2 weeks' time, and while it may seem eons away, that is actually far from the truth. Having to study for 4 papers really drain the life out of me. Third year is a new experience, since in the past I only had to study for 2 papers each semester, and be the envy of all my other friends in other faculties. Well, my turn finally came, and I'm totally not enjoying it. There's so much information to digest. I thought by keeping up with consistent work that I could easily breeze through the exams, but I realised how wrong I was. I mean, there is so much more left uncovered! For each subject, I only have a hazy idea of what it is. It's not that I don't understand; I just don't understand enough. Sigh. Printed out past year papers, and they look challenging and formidable. Sigh again.
Right now, I'm kinda in a wreck. My mind's wobbly, my notes are insufficient, and I just don't have the mood to study, which is a peculiar feeling for me. I'm usually disciplined and focused, and when something needs to be done, I'll do it good and quick. But this time, I just don't seem to have that motivation. I don't know why, but it's a really scary feeling to have. What if just before the exam I'm still totally clueless? What if I stare at the question and just give up? What if at the end of it, I do really badly and have no mood to celebrate christmas? Actually the last point is the one that I'm most concerned about. Sigh.
What if I just study hard now, do the paper well, get it done and over with, so that I can enjoy my hols? Then I don't have to keep imagining worst case scenarios.
posted by solitude @ 4:43 PM
Comments: 2
