reaching out for an answer
It has been forewarned that Man is unreliable and only God is the unwavering pillar of our lives. How true.I don't know why but increasingly I'm beginning to feel a disconnect with persons whom I once considered close and trustworthy. Friends whom you thought were reliable, who would provide the support you need, and basically behave in a certain way you expect a friend ought to behave. But I realised as we grow older and our paths diverge, the differences become more pronounced and jarring. The friendships that were made out of convenience (either through school or committee work) are increasingly difficult to upkeep because the differences which were once ignored as insignificant now play a big role in our interaction. As I become more defined in my personality/identity and become acutely aware of my likes/dislikes, my tolerance for differences take a major dip. There are just certain traits that I can no longer bear, one of which is irresponsibility. Try as I might to see the other person's point of view, I cannot come up with any plausibly logical reason for someone to say 'yes' first and later change his/her mind just because he/she doesn't feel like it or come up with some crap excuse. If you can't do it, say 'no' from the start. If you're not sure, say 'maybe'. If time and again you keep saying 'no', rethink your committment issues. There are just some things which are basic common sense and courtesy.
What should my next course of action be, with regards to these persons? It's very strange and awkward to simply say, "look, I don't really want to continue this friendship anymore because I don't think it's beneficial to either of us." But it's equally hypocritical to continue one simply on the basis that we've been friends for so long. In anticipation that one would say I'm simply simmering in anger at the moment and not thinking rationally, I assure you that it's not the first time it's happened, and everytime it does, I always push it aside and let time take away the pain I felt. I tell myself, it's okay, he/she doesn't mean it, it'll be better next time. But I think it comes to a point where I must take a stand not to eat the crap these persons are feeding me anymore. Friendships are supposed to be beneficial, edifying and uplifting. If they no longer serve these purposes, what compelling reason is there for me to remain in it?
The only ones I can think of - peace. harmony. love.
Sigh. Are these good enough reasons? God, what in the world do you want me to do?
posted by solitude @ 5:12 PM
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